Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and for most it's a day to celebrate the love you share with your partner... But what if that spark has fizzled, and you aren't connecting?
Dr. Jenn Mann is here... her book, ‘The Relationship Fix’ taps into the root issues to help repair, and rebuild communication.
Today, she shares, how we can get the spark back in our relationships.
Tend to the connection in your relationship.
Connection is the foundation for a relations. 88% cheating due to lack of emotional connection (M. Gary Neuman)
- Meaningful conversations 30 minutes a day
- Eye contact
- Boundaries with others
Create a culture of appreciation in your relationship.
Make your partner feel appreciated. The most common cause of emotional dissatisfaction reported by male cheaters is "I felt underappreciated by my wife. She was not significantly thoughtful and caring towards me." But we all want recognition for what we are doing right. Men in particular are motivated by appreciation. They have a great need to hear how wonderful they are and to be recognized.
Learn how to make amends and forgive.
No matter how great you and your partner are, you will sometimes hurt each other. Knowing how to make amends and forgive is crucial. Study after study show that the ability to forgive transgressions is linked to overall relationship satisfaction. People don't "get it on" when they are angry and resentful.
The "4 R's"
- Remorse= sorry
- Responsibility= own it
- Recognition= listen to feelings/pin
- Remedy= plan (AA, therapy, get off FB, anger management, etc.)
Make time and space for sex.
Create a life that includes sensual time together. Make limits with the outside world- technology, kids, in-laws, houseguests, friends, work, chores. Make sex a priority
Try new things in the bedroom.
A study of sexually satisfied couples found that couples who were happy with their sex lives tried the new things they read about. Those that were not satisfied read about new things to try but never tried them.
- Take risks.
- Create a safe non-judgmental environment where you can explore sexual fantasies together (talk, not necessarily do them).
- Ask for things you want in bed and encourage your partner to do the same.
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